Am I Trying Too Hard?

Raising children is definitely a joy, challenge, adventure, ride, climb, decent, sequence of failures, victories, and moments wanting to hit the reset button. Yes, it is not for the faint of heart.

I like to go 110 miles an hour at some things. My approach to music, sports, worship, marriage, and family is like that sometimes. This image is kinda a sneak peak at my inner self in certain moments.


The thing is, when it comes to parenting, I approach with a high standard and high expectation. Not that every child has to be the best in the world at grades, music, sports, making their bed, playing cards. But things like honor, respect, truth, effort, grace, being loving, making something better are not blown off.

I’ve think lately though I have gotten out of hand. It’s like I nit-pick everything to the point where it’s all I’m focused on. As you can guess, my five children aren’t really wanting a whole lot to do with Dad or they’re asking if I suffered some type of head trauma.

Maybe I’m trying too hard…

I’m committed to be the best dad I can and I take the verse training them up in the way they should go to the deepest part of my heart. Yet you can water a garden too much or sand a piece of wood to get it smooth and before you know it there is no more wood left or at the very least it gets warped! (I don’t want to warp my kids :))

The other day I got an email from one of Taylor’s teachers, a new faculty member to his school. Here’s piece of what it said:

Taylor is doing really well! He is always attentive, eager to answer questions. He helps others and is doing well academically. I’m really proud of him. He is a joy to have in class. I can truly see the light of Christ in him, shining forth. From what I’ve seen, he has a positive influence on his classmates too. Thank you for all you’ve done in raising him to be a fine young man.

I’m embarrassed to say I hadn’t noticed lately. That note says everything that I’m hoping for in my crew.

If the Father God removed grace from His eyes I’m sure He would turn out like me lately: missing it. Yet He continues to remind us how proud He is of us and that we are His prized creation.

Maybe it’s time to take a moment and stop trying. Rather, I need to enjoy the fruit of the Holy Spirit moving in my family. I wonder if trying so hard comes from my own fear and trying to prevent the next fall or failure. If I continue to do that, I’m gonna miss seeing the garden grow and change.

If I miss that, it’s not worth the effort.

God is good all the time,


2 thoughts on “Am I Trying Too Hard?

  1. I think at one time or another, all good parents face this dilemma. We so want our children to be successful, loving servants of Christ and sometimes that becomes the focus. We just need to stop once in awhile, take a breath and take a good look at them to see God’s light shining in their lives. Hang in there Peder, it never gets easier but the rewards will be much, much greater over time.

  2. thank you. This is how I have been feeling lately. Zoom zoom, zoom. Only taking time to connect with my daughter between “events.” I know my life right now only lends itself to zoom, zoom, zoom, but I need to really listen to what she is saying. Time, even a small amount, needs to be quality time. Thank you again. You truly are an inspiration.

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